Harry Potter and 6th Period History
by jgrintgurl
Summary: Claire and Leanna find out that their US History teacher is actually a History of Magic teacher at Hogwarts. This was written for my own pure insane reasons, but, hey, you might enjoy it.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters, and don't plan on it. I am in no way affiliated   
with J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., or any other HP associate.  
  
Harry Potter and 6th Period History  
This story is not normal. I repeat, NOT NORMAL! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!  
It all started on a cool, sunny day in December. Claire and Leanna walked into their 6th   
period US History class, mortified. There was no one there! They knew that the class was boring,   
but was everybody so bored that they would actually ditch? (A/N: I would if I could!) They sat   
down, and didn't say another word. It was kinda freaky.   
Mr. Full was sitting at his desk, reading his Bible.   
"Why isn't there anybody here?" asked Claire. It was really bugging her.   
"Well, us here at YJHS understand that you like Harry Potter. Actually, we found out that you are   
the biggest fans in the district." Mr Full said from behind the book. Leanna and Claire blushed   
profusely.  
"What does that have to do with us being the only ones here?" asked Leanna.  
"Well, you brought the idea to mind when I saw you writing 'Draco Malfoy' all over your chapter   
7 test. And, you, Claire, you won't stop saying 'Rupert rocks my socks', so I figured you were   
devoted enough to know."   
"Know..." Claire questioned.  
"Know that magic IS real. And I am a History of Magic teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft   
and Wizardry."  
"Yeah." Leanna said sarcastically. Claire, RUN. NOW."   
They burst out of their seats.  
"Whingaurdium Leveosa!" Shouted Mr. Full. The two girls rose into the air, screaming. Claire was  
screaming at the top of her lungs, and Leanna was confused. Was their US History teacher really  
this demented?   
Mr. Full put them down. They just stood there, with shocked looks on their faces. The   
entire room was silent. "Now," said Mr. Full, "Calm down. I deal well with jumpy little girls.   
The rest of the gang is on the way."  
"Gang?" Claire squeaked  
"I mean, the rest of the students. They shall be here shortly. But, in the mean time, I shall   
give you an explanation. Sit." The two girls sat in their seats, but Leanna missed. She fell hard  
on the floor.  
"OMG, It's Neville all over again. And I thought that I had finally gotten away." Mr. Full said   
under his breath. Leanna slowly pulled herself up.   
"Shall I begin? Well, back in 1978, I was asked to become the History of Magic teacher at   
Hogwarts. Of coarse I accepted. I would do anything to get away from those darned hippies. Anyway,  
during my conference period, I apparate over to Hogwarts and teach there. It's quite interesting,  
really. Dumbledore gave me permission to apparate some of my choice students over to learn what   
it is like to go to a muggle school. And, in turn, you will be apparated over to Hogwarts to   
learn what it is like to go to a wizarding school once we are done here. Any questions?"   
The girls hadn't really eased up yet, but Claire managed to get something out.   
"Is Ron coming?"   
"Why, yes, he is."  
"AHHHHH! AHHHHH! AHHHHH! OMG! ARE YOU KIDDING?! HE'S REALLY COMING! OMG! Leanna, how's my hair?   
Do I look alright? Should I have it up or down? What about my teeth? Is there anything in my   
braces? Should..."  
"CLAIRE! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!" Leanna screamed over Claire's high-pitched squeals. "Now," she  
said, "I assume that Draco will be invited as well?"  
"Well, it wasn't part of the original plan, but if I do, you can never bug me to sit   
next to Claire again, OK?"   
"So he's coming! OMG! Do I look better with my retainer in or out? Maybe I'll just leave it in,  
or not..."  
"LEANNA!" Claire said mockingly, "Get a hold of yourself."   
"Shut up." Leanna said. Just then, a blue puff appeared. Then a green one, a pink one, a purple   
one, and a rainbow one. They didn't know it, but those puffs were the Howarts students, and their  
day was just beginning.   
Chapter 2 will be coming ou shortly, I think. It all depends on when I get bored  
again. 


	2. Chapter 2

Finally! Here's chapter 2! Hope you like!  
  
Harry was sitting in the common room, staring blankly at his divination homework.   
"I just don't get it!" He shouted at nobody in particular. "This say that Venus will aline   
with Mars, which means that I have a pink elephant in my sock!It just..." He stopped suddenly.   
"Neville! There's no elephant!" He screamed as Neville shoved his shoe back on.  
Ron slide over a bit. He had already finished his homework. "Just say that your gonna   
die a painful death. She's a sucker for that." He said. "Or, make up something horrible, like   
going to a Muggle school."   
"Yeah!" Harry said. "That'll be horrid. I'm bound to get an A."   
Hermione sat down with an "umph." "I have no idea what is going on here, but I overheard  
Professer McGonagall and Snape talking about muggles." Harry and Ron gave eachother the 'so   
what?' look. "Then, I heard, 'Potter, weasley, and Granger were the originals, but now Malfoy has   
been drafted.' And then, '...muggle history.' It makes no sense."   
"Don't even start with 'sense'." Harry said, still writing his Divination paper. Hermione rolled   
her eyes, and left. "What is she so perinoid about? It's probably nothing." Ron said.   
"Yeah." Harry agreed, hurridly finishing his homework.   
"Wanna go play some Wizard chess?" Ron asked.  
"Sure, why not?"   
The two boys got up and walked over to a table to play. All of a sudden, they heard someone   
scream. "Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!! OMG! OMG!!! Neville disappeared! AHHHHHHHH!!" There were mixed sounds  
that came along with this. There were "Hallauah!"'s, and "Darn"'s, and the least common, "Oh,  
no!". Harry and Ron rushed toward the screaming person. It was Lavender Brown.  
"What happenes?" Asked Ron.  
"Well, I thought that I pretty much explained the problem." She snapped. "Neville disappeard."  
"What!?" Harry said.  
"How?" Harry asked.  
"What am I physcic? I don't flippin know. He was looking in my shoe for something, and then he   
turned into a rainbow-looking puff, and disappeared."  
"Figures, rainbow." Ron said quietly to Harry. "So, what should we d..." He disappeared into a   
purple puff.   
"What in the bloody h..." Harry vanished into a blue one. The common room went quiet. 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: This is chapter three of HP&6thPH. It's twisted. It's weird. It's... something that you read at your own risk. Beware.  
  
"What in the..." Claire said in amazment. All of a sudden, a loud bang erupted from the rainbow puff.  
"OUCH! Where am I?" Neville Longbottom yelled as the cloud disappeard. He had been standing on a pencil.  
The girls sat in awe as one by one, the puff turmed into diferent Harry Potter characters. Harry looked around.   
"Where are we? Professer Full?"  
"Yes, Harry." Mr. Full said.  
"Is this a torture chamber, because you know, I really didn;t mean to..." Draco said rapidly.   
"OMG!!!!!!!!!" Claire screamed. "It's you!!!!! Your here!!!!!!" She yelled as she ran up to Ron, and lept into his arms.  
"What in the bloody hell is your problem?" He said as he dropped her flat on her back.   
"But, I love you." She squeeked.  
"May I ask who exactly you are?" Hermione said.  
"Shut up, you git." Claire snapped back.  
"Now, girls, I shall hope that you will get along just fine. Otherwise, thetre is no point in this. And, you, Claire, please keep your hand off of Mr. Weasley." Mr Full said. "Leanna, that means you too." He said as he looked over at Leanna, who was staring at Draco. There was a slight bit of drool coming out of her mouth. Draco didn't seem to mind.  
"LEANNA! Get a hold of yourself!" Claire yelled.   
Leanna snapped out of her trace. "That's getting old." She said.  
"Girls, quiet. I will be taking you over to your accomidations shortly."  
"Accomidations?" Hermione asked.  
"We aren't going to sleep here." Said Draco in discust.  
""Not in this room, but in this school."   
"But, we sprnd enough time here anyway." Whined Claire.  
"You will be spening the night in a building that has been apparated here. Follow me." The group walked out the door, and towards te PE numbers. Leanna was too busy to see Hermione's foot, and fell down the stairs.  
"My GOD. Don't you ever pay attention?" Hermione barked.  
"She was busy gawking at my unevitable beauty." Draco said proudly.  
They continued until they ran into a building on the blacktop.  
"How did you..." Began Claire.  
"Apparated it here." Said Mr. Full.  
"Who can you..." began Herione.  
"Very difficult prosess, Miss Granger, very difficult."  
He opened the door, and the children all became wide-eyed. Inside were 6-Four posters, all with trunks by them, 3 couches, and a theater-sized TV. Draco pushed past everyone, and ran up to the TV. He immediatly turned if on, and started watching Friends.  
"Now that's my kind of man." Said Leanna as she rushed in and sat next to Draco. All of the children followed. They sat down in a trace.  
"Ahh, the wonders of modern technology. I see that all of you will get along fine. I will go. Be ready at 7:30 for your classes. Goodbye!" Said Mr. Full. 


	4. Chapter 4

They had just finished watching Lizzie McGuire, when Neville started crying.  
"What's your problem?" asked Ron.  
"I-it's j-just th-that when Mir-Miranda told Gord-do about the-e..."  
"Oh, shut up you blubbering tub of fat." Said Draco.  
"It is getting kinda old." Everyone aggreed. Neville ran off to the boys room, still crying.   
"I hope we didn't hurt his feelings." Hermione said in a worried tone.  
"Ya sap." Harry responded.  
The next few hours went by fast. Between 4 episodes of Friends, half of Con Air, and the entirety of Return of the geeks, people were getting tired. (Hernione said that TV was pointless, so she had been kicked out a long time ago. Nobody knew where exactly she was.) It had become evident that Ron and Claire had gotten close, and so had Draco and Leanna. Neville had returned from the bathroom, and had fallen asleep on Harry. They decided to all go to bed. On the way to get her pajama's, Leanna found a letter from the ministry. This is what it said:  
  
Dear Children,  
You will atend YJHS for one week. You class schedule has been provided below. If all go's well, you will go to Hogwarts next week. Next to your beds, you will find trunks with your names on them. You things have been brought from home to comfort you. Enjoy.  
  
Cornilus Fudge  
Minister of Magic, Dept. 1  
  
"Hey, let's see what we got." Claire said as she got up. Everyone opened their trunks. There were mixed names flying in the room.  
"Chip!" (Leanna)  
"Crookshanks!" (Hermione)  
"Pig?" (Ron)  
"Trevor!" (Neville)  
Of course, Harry and Draco didn't have pets, so they didn't have any animals with them. All of a sudden, Draco yelled "Finch!".  
"What?" Everyone said in unison.  
"Nothing. Nothing at all." He responded as he shoved a teddy bear behind his back. Just then, Neville spotted a door that none of them had seen before. He opened it, and inside was a gameroom type thing. There were VR sets, pinball machines, a DJ, a dance floor, some dancing cages, a buffet, and a hot tub.  
"WOW! This is just like my Sims game!" Said Claire.  
"You play the Sims?" Asked Ron. "So do I!"   
They went off on their little Sims coersations, while the rest of them got ready for bed. 


	5. Chapter 5

Ten minutes later, they were all mostly in their jammies. There were only two people left, Ron and Draco. From the boys bathroom came: "I am NOT wearing this!" It was Draco.  
"Oh, it cam't be that bad." Said Leanna.  
"Wanna bet? Get in hre!" He yelled. Leanna walked in the bathroom, rolling her eyes.  
"Oh dear God!" She screamed. "I think you better change." She walked out with a pair of pajama's in her hand. They were pink with little teddy bears ballirina's on them.  
"They're even worse than mine!" Harry said. (His were blue with golden snitches flying about. They even had a bludger on each side on the back. Nobody knew, but Hermione thought that they were 'attractive'.)   
"They're worse that mine, too." Said Neville. (Pink Piggies were dancing on his butt.)  
Leanna handed Draco some different pajama's that she had found in the bottom of his trunk.   
"Where's Ronniekins?" Asked Claire.  
"He went in to change." Said Hermione from behind a book.  
"I didn't ask you." Claire snapped. Hermione rolled her eyes and went back to reading.  
Then Ron came out.   
"You look like a ... a..." Draco started.  
"Pimp?" Said Leanna.  
"I think he's sexy." Claire said in awe. (He was wearing red silk boxers.)  
  
An hour later, every one was in bed. Leanna and Draco were talking, Claire was in the middle of a nightmare, and Hermione was repeating Einstien's theory of realtivity.All the others were sleeping peacefully. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chap. 6  
Harry woke up at 4 in the morning. The TV was on, and Ron was talking. He got up, and wandered over to the couch in a sleeping stuper. What he saw woke him up immediatly. Claire and Ron weren't watching TV. They were snogging. (A/N: Nasty, I know. It was her twisted idea. Don't get mad at me.) Harry yelled so loud, that it woke every one up.  
"What in the bloody HELL are you doing? Have you gone mad!?" Harry screamed. By this time, Claire was bright red, and Ron was almost Purple. They got up and went back to bed, but not w/o some qawking along the way.  
  
  
  
  
Leanna sat up. "Ha ha! Claire was caught making out with Ron!"  
"Shut Up!" Claire and Ron yelled in unison.  
"Ok, ok." Leanna said. Draco turned to her, and whispered, "At least we were smart enough to go in the game room."   
Leanna laughed, and layed back down.   
  
  
Neville couldn't get back to sleep, so he decided to go play some games. Just as he was walking into the game room, he spotted something. It was Hermione. And she was crying.  
"What's wrong?" He asked.  
"Nothing, nothing at all." She sobbed.  
"Oh, okay then." He said, and started to walk away.  
"Of coarse there is something wrong with me, you idiot!" She yelled.  
"Oh, well I thought... You said that..."  
"I didn't mean it! You were supposed to say 'No, really Hermione, I sense that you are distressed. I'll just sit here and you can talk out all of your problems with me. It's okay.' But nooooo, you just walk away like you don't care! No wonder you can't get a girlfriend! You are the most inconsiderate, self-centered being on this planet, do you know that?! You probably wouldn't care if I rolled over dead this very minute! What about if I was eaten alive by a Hungarian Short-Snout? What would you do then?! Huh? Would you sit off to the side and chant 'Jerry, Jerry, Jerry' like those stupid muggles? No, maybe you would just say 'After your done eating her arm, don't forget the head!' Huh?!" Neville was crying. He never thought that Hermione, of all people, would yell at him.  
"Fine then!" He sobbed. "I sense that you are distressed. I'll just sit here and you can talk out all of your problems with me. It's okay."  
"Well," She said. "It's just that... Ron's cheating on me!" With thins, she let out a huge sob.  
"I didn't know that you two were..."  
"YES! Didn't you pay attention at the end of the Tri-Wizard Tournament? There were enough sparks flying to end an ice age! And of all people! A muggle! A muggle!"  
"I thought that you were okay w/muggles?"  
"Not THAT one!" For the next three hours, they talked out their problems. From Ron, to Draco, to Neville's secret desire to be a Ball Room Dancer. It all came out. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chap. 7  
  
  
Finally! Chapter 7! I know it's been a while. Writers block is a curse. Argh!  
It was 6:00 the next morning. Everybody was still sleeping, when Dumbledore came in.   
"Good Morning! Rise and Shine! Wakey Wakey! GET UP!" He said as everyone rolled in their beds.   
There were grunts and moans, but eventually everyone was awake. Their first day was on it's way.  
After Dumbledore had left, they started getting ready. Neville was getting dressed, Hermione   
was brushing up on her Muggle history, and Leanna was showing Draco how to make cereal. In time,  
they were all dressed, and ready.   
"What's our first class?" Asked Leanna.  
"History." Said Claire in awe. She was staring at Ron. Ignoring her, they set off for room 42.   
Mr. Full was waiting for them. He looked extremely happy when they arrived.   
"Hello! Hello! Sit, sit! Let's begin our Focus History!"  
"What about History?" Asked Neville.  
"Focus History. I will give you a question, and you answer it. It's simple enough." Mr Full   
replied, as he put a question on the overhead. "Now, your question for today is, 'Lord Voldemort  
preserved himself as the memory of Tom Riddle, so that he could remain at Hogwarts until the   
heir of Slytherin came. How long after he first opened the Chamber of Secrets was opened the   
first time, was it opened again?'"  
Everybody started writing frantically. Harry was the first to finish, with Hermione right after.   
"What's the answer? Yes, Miss Granger?"  
"50 Years. The Chamber of Secrets was opened for the second time 50 years after Voldemort had   
opened it."  
"Very nice! How many of you got it wrong?" He asked. Neville was the only one to raise his hand. "Maybe you'd better work on those study skills, Mr. Longbottom. For the next 30 min, I want you to work on the Assignment Log on the blackboard. Go." Mr. Full said, and then sat down.   
Everyone hustled to get out some paper. There was the sound of scratching as they started to   
write. Then the door opened. In the doorway stood a very shocked-looking girl of about 14. She   
was just standing there with a piece of paper in her hand, and huge eyes. She looked around   
sheepishly, stopping to look at everyone.   
"Why, Miss DeGoes? What are you doing here?" Mr Full said from behind his Bible.  
"Um... I came to turn in this paper. What is going on?" She said.  
"Well.."  
"STEPHANIE!" Claire and Leanna yelled.  
"Claire, Leanna?" She asked. "What are you... What is... Who the... I... DRACO!! OMG!!!!!"   
"Back off." Leanna hissed.  
"Miss DeGoes, I'm sorry, but there is nothing that I can do, but..." Said Mr. Full, pulling out   
his wand.  
"NO! Not a memory charm!" Yelled Claire. "Let her stay. Then you can give her one at the end of   
the thing."   
"Well, I guess that one more student wouldn't hurt." Stephanie let out a shriek of joy, and ran  
over to sit next to Harry, all the while with one eye on Draco's eyebrows.  
"They're MINE!" Leanna hissed again when she noticed. Stephanie looked back down at her desk.  
The next hour went by quickly. Everyone had finish with their Assignment Logs, and they   
were all talking. (Neville was still sort of edgy about talking to Hermione. He didn't want a   
repeat of the might before.) And before they knew it, the bell had rung, and they were on their   
way to Journalism. It was a short walk, but Leanna was eager to get there. It was the first time  
in her life that this class might just be enjoyable. Actually, it wasn't the class that bugged   
her, it was her editor. He was a staff-obsessed freak. He didn't allow Leanna to talk to anyone   
but him, and wouldn't let her leave her chair. She was forced to work non-stop on class related   
things, or else her grade was dropped significantly. She had been daring to flip him off once,   
but that just took her grade from an A- to a B- very quickly, and it didn't make her feel any   
better.  
They finally reached room 74, and all piled in. Leanna sat in her normal spot, in the   
back where the News department usually was. Claire and Draco sat on either side of her. Everyone  
crowded around News and Sports sections, and sat down. There was no teacher in sight. Then, to   
Leanna's horror, someone came in the door. It was her editor, Michael. Her eyes got big, and she   
let out a short sound of panic.  
"Hello." Michael said. "My name is Michael, and I will be your teacher for the next week."  
"But your not old enough!" Said Stephanie.  
"I realize this. I was put in charge to supervise and assign work. I tend to do better than the   
teacher when it comes to discipline. Now," He said as he walked toward Draco. "You must be Draco?"  
"Yeah." Said Draco.  
"Move. There." Michael responded, pointing across the room to the Layout section.   
"But, why?" Draco asked.  
"Because I said so, that's why." He said without a smile. Draco slowly got up, and stood in front   
of Michael.  
"How are you gonna make me?"  
"I'm not."  
"Then why do I have to listen to you?"  
"You don't."  
"Then I'll just sit here." He said as he sat back down. Michael pulled the chair out form under   
him with his foot, and Draco fell to the floor, hitting his head on the table.  
"Are you okay?" Asked Leanna frantically, as she fell down on her knees next to Draco. He grabbed  
his head, and started to moan.  
"Stop your whining, and get up." Said Michael, mercilessly. "Now MOVE." Leanna helped Draco to   
his feet, and started to walk with him over to Layout.  
"Not you." Said Michael, meaning Leanna.  
"But..."  
"Shut up, and sit down. Here." Leanna listlessly paced over to her original seat, and say down.  
It took another ten minutes before everyone was seated in their 'proper' spots. By that   
time, the only people in News were Leanna, Neville, and Michael. Claire and Hermione were in Just  
Fur Fun, Ron, Harry, and Draco were in Layout, and Stephanie was all by herself in Fashion.   
Nobody was allowed to talk to anyone out side of their sections, if they were allowed to talk at  
all. Michael had given the all different assignments, and was sitting in his chair, chuckling   
knowingly. 


	8. Chapter 8

So, where did we leave off? Oh, yes, Journalism. Muahahahaha...  
  
The room was silent. Nobody dared talk, because Michael would rip their head off.   
  
(And Draco was having enough head problems.) Their first issue of Husky Talk Quarterly was   
  
due by Friday, and judging by the way things were going, this wasn't going to happen. All   
  
was lost. Stephanie was ruining fashion, and Claire and Hermione were in the middle of a   
  
cat fight. Not to mention the yelling going on in News.  
  
"I don't even understand why we have to write the stupid paper. Nobody is here but us."   
  
Leanna said.  
  
"Just because we do. You'll see why later. Now don't contradict me." Micheal snapped back.  
  
"She'll do whatever she wants." Said Draco.  
  
"STAY OUT OF THIS!" Yelled Leanna.  
  
"Yeah, Dragon Boy." Said Michael. Draco was obviously hurt, but that didn't last long. He soon   
  
was interested in the cat fight once more.  
  
"Now, what do you mean, "we'd see'" Asked Leanna.  
  
"You'll just have to wait. Now drop the subject, and het to work."  
  
"But what if we don't want to?" Neville piped up. It was the first time her had spoken. Once   
  
he'd realized what he'd said, he turned all red and his eye's got big. "I... I'm sorry. I... I   
  
did... didn't mean it." He pleaded. Then entire room was quiet. Everyone wanted to see what was   
  
going to happen to poor Neville.  
  
"You, outside. NOW!" Yelled Michael, pointing at Neville. Neville shook frantically, but  
  
got up and walked toward the door, with Michael at his heels. Everyone ran to the window to see   
  
what was going to happen. Everyone, that is, except Draco.  
  
Draco was doing something more productive. He was rummaging through Michael's things. He  
  
pulled out a piece of paper, and said, "OMG. You guy's come over here, quick." Everyone pulled   
  
their attention away from Neville being lectured and yelled at, and looked toward Draco. When   
  
they saw his eyes, they ran over to him. (Hermione decided to stay at the window.)  
  
"What is it?" Asked Claire. Draco held up the paper and Harry took it from him.   
  
"This is the same thing that we caught Filch with in second year." He said.  
  
"OMG. Michael's a Squib." Stephanie said, joyfully.  
  
"Do you know what this means?" Asked Leanna.  
  
"He can't do any magic!" Claire and Ron said in unison. They looked at each other, and turned   
  
red.  
  
"We have an advantage over him!" Draco responded.   
  
Just then, the door knob turned. Draco stuffed the paper back into the backpack, and   
  
everyone ran for their seats. To everyone's surprise, Neville wasn't with him.  
  
"Longbottom is no longer a part of this class." He said menacingly.  
  
"But he just said what is on his mind!" Shouted Hermione.  
  
"Do you wish to join him?"  
  
"Why, yes, I do!"  
  
"Fine. Go then. I shall notify Dumbledore."  
  
Hermione grabbed her bag, and headed for the door.   
  
"Ha ha, Hermione's got a boyfriend!" Claire teased.  
  
"I'm not through with you yet!" Hermione said as she slammed the door.   
  
"Now, get working. I want your proofs by tomorrow." Michael warned as he sat down.  
  
"Here are mine." Stephanie said as she handed him some papers.   
  
"Hm, now that's a good worker. Let's see what you have, 'What's Hot, What's Not', A Break Down   
  
of Fashion', "Do's and Don'ts' Excellent. You get an A." Ron took the paers, and started to   
  
read them.   
  
"But, these have nothing to do with real fashion!" He said.  
  
"But of coarse they do!" Stephanie retorted. And the argument was on.  
  
Meanwhile, Leanna, Draco, Claire, and Harry had snuck into a corner, and were whispering.  
  
"Okay, are we all set?" Asked Harry softly.  
  
"Yep." Everyone responded.  
  
"Let's go!" Said Claire.  
  
Draco walked over to Michael, and tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"What do you..." BAM! Draco punched him square in that face. Ron ran over, and gaged him with   
  
his sweater. Claire pushed him down into his chair, and tied him up with some rope that she had   
  
found. Harry and Leanna picked him up, and put him in the middle of the room. Claire explained   
  
to Ron and Stephanie what to do, and they all pulled out their wands. All at once, they yelled,   
  
"Rictusempra!" and snaked flew out everywhere. They slithered toward Michael, and he started to   
  
panic. His eye's got bigger, and he turned bright red. It was hilarious.   
  
Then the door opened. Dumbledore was standing in the doorway, shock written all over his  
  
face. "What in the...?" He said as he pulled out his wand. "Finitay Incontartm!" All of the   
  
snakes blew into smithereens. "What do you think you are doing?! Get him free at ONCE!" Everyone  
  
ran over to Michael, and started to let him go.   
  
"Headmaster, we..." Harry began.  
  
"I know Harry, that's why I am here."  
  
"What do you mean?" Asked Stephanie.  
  
"We have found that Michael is not the beat candidate for your instructor."  
  
"But..." Michael said.  
  
"THAT," Dumbledore interrupted, "Is why we have found a new instructor for you." Oliver Wood   
  
stepped in the door, and Stephanie fainted. 


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: So, I wonder who Stephanie likes? Huh. Anyway, back to Chapter 9. Hahahahaha!!!! (Oh, and   
  
by the was, I made a slight mistake in the last chapter. "Rictisempra" should have been   
  
"Surpensorsia". Sorry.)  
  
Everybody gathered round Stephanie, just to make sure that she was okay. She was still breathing,  
  
which is always a good sign. Thinking that maybe she was just a little light-headed, they all   
  
gradually receded. But, Hermione was still freakin' out.  
  
"Is she okay? Do you think that maybe we should take her the hospital wing? She might have a   
  
concussion, you know!"  
  
"Shut up, already." Said Ron, "She's fine."   
  
"Really. And by the way, we don't have a "hospital wing", we have a nurse. This is a crappy   
  
public school, remember?" Harry said. Hermione had a look of shock written all over her face.   
  
He couldn't believe that her own best friends were sticking up to her. How dare they!  
  
"Fine! If you two want to side with, with them, (she waved her hand in the general direction of   
  
the others) then go ahead!" She stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.  
  
"She really needs help." Oliver Wood said from next to the door. Stephanie stirred on the floor,  
  
and her eyes opened slowly. She keyed in on Oliver.  
  
"Is it really you?" She asked.   
  
Oliver looked around. "Who are you talking to?"  
  
"You. Are you really here?"  
  
"Last time I checked..." Stephanie jumped to her feet, and ran over to Oliver. She started poking  
  
him in the arm, and turning him around. Leanna and Claire got up, and walked over to her. They   
  
took her by her arms, and pulled her away. They at her down next to Neville, and made sure that   
  
she didn't get up. It was a little odd for her to be acting like that, and they figured that if   
  
she was going to flirt with somebody, it was him. Hey, he needed it. Oliver opened his mouth to   
  
speak, and at the same time, the bell rang. They all piled out the door.  
  
"So, where to next?" Asked Draco.  
  
"English, then math. Then it's lunch, science, and PE." Said Harry, reading off the schedule.  
  
"I hate English!" Said Ron from the back.  
  
"So do I." Responded Claire.  
  
"I don't really mind it." Said Leanna, but nobody was paying attention. (A/N: What's new?)  
  
They all made their way to room 55. They opened the door, and walked in. It was freezing. They   
  
saw what looked like a student sitting at a big desk in the right-hand corner. He was bundled up in a thick jacket. It resembled something Hagrid would wear.   
  
"Where is the teacher?" Asked Draco.  
  
"Right here." Said the student in the corner. He stood up, and walked over to them. He wasn't a   
  
student! He was a teacher!  
  
"Not again!" Said Ron.  
  
"You think that I am a student, don't you? Well Let me just clear that up. I am actually your   
  
teacher. I'm young, but I am your teacher."  
  
'How young are you?" Asked Harry.  
  
"25."  
  
"Mr. Mead?" Leanna said in amazement.  
  
The teacher nodded.  
  
They all sat down, and got prepared for the lesson. Hermione seemed quite interested in Mr. Mead.  
  
It was beyond the rest of them why, but hey, it was keeping her out of their hair. The lesson   
  
went quickly. It was mostly nouns, adjectives, you know, the basics. They already knew it.   
  
(Draco seemed stumped, but he eventually got it.)  
  
It was lunch before you knew it. They all shuffled out of the class, and headed toward the quad.   
  
There was nobody there. Huh. It would make for pleasant, peaceful, eating. They separated into   
  
the four different lines, and though of what they wanted. The silence was broken by Stephanie.  
  
"How are we going to pay for this? We don't have any money!" Just then, a little portly goblin   
  
wobbled out of the cafeteria door.   
  
"Here is your money." He said as he gave each person a sack of dollars.  
  
"I don't know how to use this!" Yelled Draco.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll help you." Leanna said to him.  
  
"Ron, you won't know how to use it, either. Maybe I can..." Hermione started. Then they all   
  
noticed that Ron was missing. So was Claire. (How ironic.)  
  
"Where are they?" Asked Harry.  
  
"I have no clue." replied Stephanie. "I'll go look for them."  
  
"I'll help." Said Harry. They walked off together, into the hellish-pits of YJHS.  
  
"So, that leaves us, then." Draco said to Leanna, Hermione and Neville. But Neville wasn't there.  
  
He was hiding in a dark corner from the goblin, who was long gone. Leanna and Draco decided to   
  
order their food anyway. The others could do it themselves.   
  
Leanna sat down at the picnic table with her nachos and Diet Pepsi, and Draco sat down across   
  
from her. They were munching away, when they realized that they couldn't see anybody. There   
  
wasn't any sign of them.   
  
"I wonder where they went?" Said Leanna, looking around for any sign of life.  
  
"Who cares?" Responded Draco. Then they both heard somebody say, "Leanna? Leanna!!!! What are you  
  
doing here? What exactly is going on? Is this some kind of sick joke?" Leanna turned around, and   
  
noticed Launi, her best PE buddy.  
  
"Launi?" What are you doing here?"  
  
"I really don't know." She said. "I was sleeping, then next thing I know, I woke up, and I was   
  
here, at school. It's like a living Hell. Now, I'm gonna go home now.... Draco Malfoy? Is that   
  
Draco Malfoy? Are you... really... OMG. This is unbelievable!!!! Forget 'living hell', this is   
  
a living heaven!" She said as she poked Draco quite hard.  
  
"Back off, Launi. He's mine. I've already called him. Now, just go home now. This is probably   
  
just a dream of yours. You know how you are... Anyway, just go. Now. Don't worry yourself about   
  
us. We'll be fine. I'll have Mr. Full explain everything on... wait, when does school start   
  
again? Monday? Yeah, that's it, I'll have him explain everything on Monday. Now, we have somehow   
  
misplaced six people, and we really must find them. " Leanna said, slowly nudging Launi toward   
  
the gates.  
  
"I... but... when... Monday... but... what's..." Launi stuttered.  
  
"Just go. See you later." With that, she pushed Launi out of the gate, and closed it.   
  
"C'mon. Let's go find them." She said when she had gotten back to the table.  
  
"But, I'm not even done eating!" Said Draco in protest.  
  
"I don't really care. Something's wrong. I just know it is." They got up, and decided to split   
  
up separate ways. Leanna took the left, and Draco the right. 


	10. Chapter 10

There was no sign of anybody. All Leanna could find was some old gum wappers, ans what looked   
  
like a pile of petrified barf. (A/N: Ewww!!!!!!) She was just about to give up, when Draco came  
  
running up behind her.  
  
"Leanna! Leanna! I found Harry! LEANNA!" She whirled around, and saw Harry and Draco.   
  
"Where were you?" She asked Harry when they finally arrived.  
  
"I was... I was.... you know, I'm not really sure. Wait... wait just a minute! Who did you say   
  
you were again?"  
  
Leanna gave Draco a quizzical look, and responded, "Leanna. Remember?"  
  
"Leanna? Well. That's an odd sort of name, don't you think? It's like a 'Lee' and an 'Anna' all   
  
rolled into one. Isn't that unusual? When you have both of those names, does that mean your two   
  
different people? 'Cause you know, that would be COOL!"  
  
"Isn't that nice?" Leanna said sarcastically. "Are you okay?"  
  
"That's affirmative, captain. Now, take me to your leader. Da Da Da! Zooooom!!!!" He yelled as   
  
he ran around in circles.  
  
"Where did you find him, in a pile of stupid?"  
  
"He was just wandering the halls. He looked kinda lost."  
  
"Really? I hadn't noticed."  
  
"Maybe we should take him back to the... house-y thing."  
  
"Yeah. By the way, what happened to him?"  
  
"I dunno. Lemme consult my crystal ball." Draco retorted.  
  
Leanna just rolled her eyes, and grabbed Harry mid-circle.  
  
"Harry? We are going to take you back to the... um... thingy-ma-bob-er. Okay? Come with us."  
  
"Actually, I'm gonna look for the others. I'll meet you there. If they're all like this, I might   
  
need some help with Claire. She'll be a nightmare."  
  
Leanna laughed, and started to walk with Harry.  
  
They were half way back to the "house", and Hary just wouldn't shut up.  
  
"Wow! Look atthis! It's all green and stuff! Look! It's all crunchy when you step on it! Listen!"  
  
He said as he jumped up and down. "Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Crunchidy, crunch, crunch!" Leanna   
  
tugged him along, and pulled him in the door.  
  
"Here. I'm gonna sit you on the couch. You can... OMG!" She yelled and she looked away.  
  
"Cool!" Harry said.   
  
"Leanna? OMG! Leanna!" Claire said from the couch.  
  
"What? Wait... who else is with you?" Ron said as he pushed her on the floor. She landed with a   
  
'thump'.  
  
"Just Harry."  
  
"What? Where?" Claire said.  
  
"Right... crap. Where'd he go?" She said, looking around.   
  
"Look at me! Look at me!" Harry said from the game room door. He was swinging it back and forth,   
  
letting it hit him on the head. Every time it did, he let out a 'he he he', and went back for   
  
more.  
  
"What's up with him?" Claire asked.  
  
"Dunno. Draco found him like this."  
  
"Where's Herman when ya need her?"  
  
"That's just the thing. We don't know. We can't find Steph or Neville."   
  
"Maybe they're..."  
  
"Shut up! That's just wrong!" Ron said from the couch.  
  
"No, no, no! I mean maybe they are getting done to them whatever was done to Harry."With that,   
  
Draco came panting in the door.   
  
"I... I found the... the blonde..." He gasped. He pulled Stephanie through the door, and pushed   
  
her on the couch next to Ron.  
  
"She's got a mean right hook!" He said, touching his lip. (It was bleeding.)  
  
"Holy Criznap!" aid Claire. "Steph, why'd ya hit em?"  
  
"Who is 'Steph'?" Stephanie said.  
  
"Oh Gawd, not another one!" Ron said, as he held down Harry. (He was trying to break dance.)  
  
"Stephanie Karen Castanon, what is wrong with you?" Claire asked.  
  
""My name isn't 'Stephanie', 'Karen', or 'Castanon". It's Buffy. Duh."  
  
"Yes, I am a vampire slayer. And your little friend over there is a vampire."  
  
"A vampire slayer?!" Yelled Harry. "Do you really fight vampires? Like, ya know, BAM! BANG!  
  
BOOM!" He said, punching the air.  
  
"Who's that freak?"  
  
"Ron, explain what you know. And, for your own safety, hold her down." Leanna said, nodding   
  
toward Stephanie. She was getting sick of telling the story. Not to mention that she needed to  
  
find out what was going on.  
  
"I'll go look for the others." Claire said as she walked out the door. About a half hour passed   
  
before they heard anything from Claire. And when she came in, it wasn't normal.  
  
Claire burst through the door, gasping, much like Draco had done.  
  
"You know, if it's really that much of a workout, maybe I should go out and look for Hermione."   
  
Leanna said. "I am getting a little out of shape."  
  
"I swear! He is... He's... just... EW!" Claire yelled.  
  
"What he do?" asked Ron.  
  
"He was trying to... to... kiss me!" She said as she pushed him away.  
  
"He WHAT?" Ron yelled. "Why, you little pimp daddy wannabe! I have half the mind to..." But by   
  
this time, Neville had given up on Claire, and was flirting with Stephanie. She pinned him to   
  
the ground, and knocked him out cold, but not before he had said, "My, aren't we a little  
  
feisty?' 


	11. Chapter 11

Yeah. I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! YAY! Anyway, I'm gonna do a lot of switching around this   
  
chapter, so PAY ATTENTION!   
  
Chaos was loose in the house. Everybody was on end, especially the normal people. Claire   
  
and Ron were supposed to be watch 'the crew', but actually way from everybody, doing...   
  
um... stuff. Yeah. That's it. Harry was running around, screaming "Voulez vous coucher avec   
  
moi ce soir?!!!" at the top of his lungs. (That seemed to be the only lyrics he knew.) Stephanie  
  
was tied to a chair, far, far away from anything sharp or painful. Leanna and Draco had taken on   
  
the job of finding Hermione. And, finally, Neville had been locked in the boys room, and was   
  
making strange sounds. (A/N: AMERICAN PIE!!!!)  
  
"I've looked everywhere!" Draco said in frustration.  
  
"She has to be here somewhere! Where could she have gone?"  
  
"How things are going now, she could be anywhere!" Just as they were passing through the   
  
classrooms on the other side of the school, they saw a figure by room 6.  
  
"Hermione?!" Leanna yelled. The figure just stood there.   
  
"Do we have to go after her? Why can't we just leaver her here?" Draco said, turning around.  
  
"We can't do that! Wait, maybe we can, but, ARGH!" They walk briskly toward the statue-like   
  
thingmabober. As they got closer, they noticed that it was Hermione. She was just standing there.  
  
When they got up to her, she had that glazed look in her eyes.   
  
"Herman?" Leanna asked. She just stood there.  
  
"Ah, well. Just leave 'er." Leanna huffed, and continued to interrogate Hermione.  
  
"Hermione? What's wrong?" Nothing.  
  
"Hermione? Can you here me?" Still nothing.  
  
"Hermione? What the heck is wrong with..." *slap!* Draco slapped Hermione across the face.  
  
"What was that for?!" Leanna asked, shocked.  
  
"Well, to see if she would react." She hadn't. She just stood there, blinking. Just as Leanna   
  
and Draco were about to figure out how to get her back to the house, she moved.   
  
"What up, yizno?" She said, bobbing her head and throwing her hand up into a high-five position.   
  
They both gave a quizzical look.   
  
"What up in da hiiiiiiiiiiz?" (Leanna and Draco: *blink, blink*)  
  
"Um... Hermione?"  
  
"Who is this 'Hermione', yo? I am Griznanger, foolio!"  
  
"Um... yeah. Anyway, 'Griznanger', maybe we should take you back to the house." Draco insisted.   
  
It was the first sign of affection that Leanna had seen. (Well, except for that time in the game  
  
room...)   
  
"Yo, homes, I don't live in no house! I'm a child of the hiz!"  
  
"What's a 'child of the hiz'?" Draco asked.  
  
"OMG! It's spizneak! She's talking in spizneak!" Leanna said unexpectedly. They just looked at   
  
her.  
  
"Spizneak! It's a language that Claire and I made up! Nobody could figure it out! We just dropped  
  
it after a while, but it's alive and kickin' again!" They continued to look at her. Leanna took   
  
an impatient breath, and said, "'Hiz' is 'house'. What she's saying is in spizneak, and a little   
  
bit of ghetto. That's all." Draco stood with a look of incomprehension.  
  
"Argh! Never mind!" She took Hermione by the arm, and pulled.  
  
"Ciznome'iznom Hiznerman, wizne iznare giznowing biznack tizknew thizne hiznouse."  
  
"Kiz." Hermione said, and followed Leanna. Draco was right behind them.  
  
They walked in the door, and pulled Hermione in.  
  
"Sup, homes?" She said to everybody. The only people in sight were Harry (who had now graduated   
  
to singing "Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous" by Good Charlotte) and Stephanie (who was   
  
still tied to the chair). Ron and Claire emerged through the other door, and strange noises were   
  
coming from the boy's bathroom. They all just looked at her.  
  
"Spizneaker." Leanna said to Claire.  
  
"OMG, I forgot all about that!" She said back. Ron and Draco looked clueless. Leanna led Hermione  
  
over to the couch, and sat down.  
  
"What are we going to do about all of this?"  
  
"I dunno." Said Ron. "I put a message in Dumbledore's inbox, but knowing him, it's gonna take a   
  
while for a response." A high-pitched screech shot across the house."  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OMG! OMG! WHAT'S GOING ON?! WHERE AM I?!" It was Stephanie. Claire ran over   
  
to her.  
  
"Steph, I mean, Buffy, what's wrong?"   
  
"I'm not Buffy. Buffy is back in Sunnydale. I'm Willow, can't you tell? Who are you?" Everybody   
  
was turned around looking at her.   
  
"I, um, I..." There was a huge BANG! On the bathroom door.  
  
"Lemme out!" It was Neville.  
  
"I'll go check it out." Leanna said, and went towards the bathroom. Harry stopped dead in the   
  
middle of the song. He walked up to Draco.  
  
"Tell me I'm beautiful." He said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Tell me I'm beautiful."  
  
"Um..."  
  
"What? So that's it? You don't love me anymore, do you?"  
  
"Uh... er..."  
  
"I gave you the best years of my life!"  
  
"I... um... what?"  
  
"You men are all the same! All you think about is getting some! Is that all I was to you? Just a  
  
sex kitten? HUH?"  
  
"Wait a min..."  
  
"Well lemme tell you somethin, mister! You aren't exactly the best in the bedroom!"  
  
"What? How do..." Hermione was laughing.  
  
"Shut up!" Draco yelled at her. Leanna yelled from the bathroom, "You guys, something's going on!   
  
Neville thinks that he has a wife that's cheating on him."  
  
"I know!" Said Claire. "And Steph really does think she's Willow."  
  
"And Harry thinks that I slept with him!" Yelled Draco. Everybody laughed.  
  
A/N: So, what's going on here? What is happening to everybody? Wait for chap 12 to see! 


	12. Chapter 12

"Well, are you sure you didn't?" Neville asked.  
  
"YES!"  
  
"Are you sure that you didn't sleep with my wife too? Huh?"  
  
"What wife?"  
  
"THE ONLY WIFE I HAVE!"  
  
"You don't have a wife!"  
  
"EVERYBODY! SHUT UP!"Claire yelled. "We have to figure this out. Something is going terribly   
  
wrong here, and I don't know what it is. We need to get this together before one of you turns   
  
into a mass murderer or something."  
  
"Izny inam izna chiznil izof thiznah hiz. Iznand chiznildren iznof thiznah hiz diznon't   
  
belizneve iznin vizniolence."   
  
Ron looked at Claire, obviously asking what it was that Hermione had said.  
  
"She is a child of the house, and she doesn't believe in violence."  
  
"Oh. I knew that." Claire rolled her eyes at him, and turned to Leanna.  
  
"What are we going to do?"  
  
"I really don't know. I'm scared to find out what they will turn into next."  
  
"Where is Faith?" Stephanie said from the confines of her own little chair.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Faith! What did you do with her?!" As she said this, her eyes started to get dark, and her arms   
  
raised, ready to cast any spell that came to her.  
  
"Oh! Faith! Right, um, she's, um, getting a manicure across town. Right. That's where she is."  
  
Stephanie's eyes cleared up, and she lowered her arms. "Ok then!" Everybody looked around,   
  
clearly afraid of what would have happened if Stephanie had gone though with her plans.  
  
Ron grabbed Neville by the arm. "I'm going to take him into the game room. He'll probably be safer  
  
there."   
  
"Oh! A game room! Does it have games?" Asked Stephanie. "No matter. Hey, wait for me!" She said as   
  
she bolted after Ron and Neville.   
  
"IznI'm slizneepy. iznI thiznink iznI'm giznonna gizno tizno bizned. Pizneace yizno!" Hermione   
  
said as she flashed the peace sign and walked off to her four-poster. Claire looked at Leanna.  
  
"I'm just gonna go for a walk. This is too weird." She walked out the door. The only 3 left were   
  
Leanna, Draco, and Harry. Harry didn't really count as a person at that time, cause he was   
  
looking into space, dumbfounded.  
  
"So, what do you think?" Leanna asked Draco.  
  
"I really don't know. I'm still not over that wife thing."  
  
"Neville better be wrong, or you'll be in pain. You know that, right?" She said menacingly.  
  
Claire was wandering through the halls, trying to figure out what was going on. Would they ever   
  
be able to get Stephanie back? Or Harry? Hermione and Neville were already lost causes, so she   
  
wasn't worried about that. Then it hit her. If she gave them a taste of their own medicine, then   
  
maybe they would be turned back to normal. Not just a little bit, but a lot. She turned around,   
  
and ran back to the house. It was worth a shot.  
  
Draco had retired to the couch, and Leanna was on the computer checking her email. Not that she   
  
ever got any from anybody other than Claire and Stephanie anyway. Claire came bursting in through  
  
the door, and yelled "I GOT IT!". They turned to face her, hoping that she hadn't gone insane   
  
too.   
  
"Listen. If we bend to their liking, then they won't be able to freak us out anymore. They, or   
  
whatever is controlling them, will think that we have clearly gone insane to. Then it won't be   
  
fun anymore. I don't know if it will work, but it's worth a shot." Draco just turned back to the   
  
TV. Leanna was catching on.   
  
"So, what your saying is, if we act like their 'counterparts', then they will have no choice but  
  
to be normal again?"  
  
"Yeah! Like, ok, you know how Harry thinks that Draco slept with him? Well, if Draco can, um,   
  
fulfill that fantasy, then it should all go back."  
  
"Wait just a minute! Draco is not going to sleep with Harry!"  
  
"No, no, no! I mean, if Draco 'confesses' to Harry, then it should be fixed."  
  
"And if one of us pretend to be Neville's wife, and we only talk to Hermione in spizneak, and   
  
Stephanie, um, what do we do with her?"  
  
"Well, I was thinking that one of us could pretend to be one of her friends from where she comes   
  
from."  
  
"Like who?"   
  
"I dunno. Someone she loves. Maybe Xander."  
  
"No, that's not strong enough."  
  
"Well, you know all about that stuff. You tell me."  
  
"Oz!"   
  
"Leanna, this is no time for a movie!"  
  
"No, Oz!" Claire gave a befuddled look. "Her only boyfriend. She turned, um, well, how she is now,   
  
after he left her. I think it might work. If all else fails, then we can try Xander."   
  
"It's worth a try."  
  
"Now all we have to do is convince Draco to say that he slept with Harry." They walked toward the  
  
couch, determined. Draco had idea what was coming. 


	13. Chapter 13

"Hell, no!" Draco said, unyielding. "There is no way on Lucius' green earth that I am going to say that I... I... did things... with Saint Potter!"  
  
"C'mon!" Leanna pleaded. "Please? For me?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Listen!" Claire yelled. "If you don't do this, then they won't get back to normal, which means Harry will still think you slept with him. Not to mention that they are getting increasingly worse, which means that he might actually try to sleep with you. Clear?"  
  
"You don't even know if this is going to work!" Draco retorted, uncertainty in his grey eyes.  
  
"You got any better ideas, Dragon Boy?"  
  
"Well, no, but..."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"Why don't we just lock them all away?"  
  
"How bout we leave you with them?"  
  
"How bout no?"  
  
"You are a jerk, you know that?"  
  
"Well you are a control freak!"  
  
"No, actually, that would be me..." Leanna said quietly.  
  
"SHUT UP!" they said in unison.  
  
"Word stealer!" Claire shot at Draco.  
  
"Mind reader!" he shot back.  
  
"Freak!"  
  
"Weirdo!"  
  
"Blondie!"  
  
"Shorty!"  
  
"Grey-eyed, blonde haired know-it-all!"   
  
"GIRL!"   
  
Leanna and Claire just stared at him.  
  
"I ran out of insults!" He said pleadingly.  
  
"Maybe we should just stop now." Leanna said, trying to patch things up. "Pay attention to me! Now, I'm gonna go try and fix Neville. Claire, you get Hermione. Draco, YOU GET HARRY."  
  
Claire and Leanna went off to try and fix things.  
  
"You get Harry..." Draco mocked. "Why do I always get the bad ones?" And with that, he was off.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
" Listen, Neville, um, hunny..." Leanna started with a cringe at the last word. "It's me, your, uh, wife..."  
  
"I know who you are."  
  
"Well, I just wanted to say that I am very sorry about what you are, er, misled to think. I would never cheat on you."  
  
"They why is Shaniqua tell Shanaynay that she heard Shatay that she saw you with that Draco guy? Huh?"  
  
"Well, me and, um, Shanuqua, whoever that is," she added the last part under her breath, "have been having some issue with each other lately."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Um, she, um, she, well, she, um, said that, um, I wasn't good enough for you?" She tried.  
  
"Really?" He seemed to believe it.  
  
"Um, yeah..."  
  
"Well then, I'm gonna have to tell her that..." his last words were cut off. His face changed. He shifted uneasily. "Hey, Leanna, what are you doing in the boy's room?" he asked.  
  
"Neville?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Um, so, are you gonna talk to Shaniqua?" She asked. She wasn't sure if this was the real Neville, or just another change.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Oh, um, right. Never mind then. Bye!" She said, and darted out of the bathroom. It had worked! Now, if only it did for Hermione, Harry, and Stephanie too.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(A/N: Everything in spizneak is below in regular English so that you can understand it.)  
  
"Hzinomie?" Claire asked.  
  
"Yinzeah! Siznup?" Hermione asked back.  
  
"Um, iznI wiznas jiznust wiznonderin' iznf yzinou ciznould tiznell minze izbout, um, Biznob, finzrom, um, binzack iznin tiznhe giznhetto?"  
  
"Yizneah! Wiznait, wiznas hizne tiznhe oiznne tiznhat diznumped mizne fiznor tiznhat sliznut, Shiznaniqua?"  
  
"Um, yizneah?"  
  
"Riznight. Hizne wiznas iznall 'Hiznerm, inzI liznike, giznot nizno tiznmie fzinor yiznou iznanymore', inzand iznI wiznas iznall, 'Yiznes yzinou dizno!', iznand hizne wizmas iznall, 'Ninzo, iznI diznon't', iznand iznI wiznas inzall, 'whizno siznays?', iznand tiznhen hizne's iznall 'mizne' iznand iznI'm iznall, 'wiznnell iznI siznays yiznou dizno', iznand hizne's iznall 'wiznell iznI siznays iznI diznon't', iznand iznI wiznas iznall, 'mizny biznehind yiznou diznon't', tiznhen hizne's iznall, 'wiznellizn I'm lizneavin yiznou', iznand iznI wiznas liznike, 'iznum, nizno, yiznour niznot', aiznnd tiznhen hizne's iznall, 'yizneah iznI aiznm', iznand iznI wiznas iznall, 'fiznor wiznho?', iznand tiznhen hizne's iznall, 'Shiznaniqua', iznand iznI'm iznall, 'thiznat sliznut?', iznand hizne's iznall, 'siznhe's izna biznetter siznlut tiznhan yiznou', iznand iznI'm iznall, 'niznuh-iznuh', iznand hizne's iznall, 'iznuh-hiznuh', iznand lizneft. Yiznou diznig?"  
  
Claire blinked. "Um, yeah. Right..." Then Hermione's face started to change, and she got all figit-y.   
  
"What are we doing in here?" She asked.  
  
"You were tellin me about... wait... you didn't say that in spizneak!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Never mind. IT WORKED!" She said, and jumped up and down. She ran from the room, so she could see if it worked for the others. (A/N: Sorry that I had to type that all in spizneak. Here's what it says: "Homie?" Claire asked.  
  
"Yeah! Sup?" Hermione asked back.  
  
"Um, I was just wonderin' in you could tell me about, um, Bob, from, um, back in the ghetto?"  
  
"Yeah! Wait, was he the one that dumped me for that slut, Shaniqua?"  
  
"Um, yeah?"  
  
"Right. He was all 'Herm, I like, got no time for you anymore', and I was all, 'Yes you do!', and he was all, 'No, I don't', and I was all, 'who says?', and then he's all 'me' and I'm all, 'well I says you do', and he's all 'well I says I don't', and I was all, 'my behind you don't', then he's all, 'well I'm leavin you', and I was like, 'um, no, your not', and then he's all, 'yeah I am', and I was all, 'for who?', and then he's all, 'Shaniqua', and I'm all, 'that slut?', and he's all, 'she's a better slut than you', and I'm all, 'nuh-uh', and he's all, 'uh-huh', and left. You dig?"  
  
Claire blinked. "Um, yeah. Right..." Then Hermione's face started to change, and she got all figit-y.)   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Draco really didn't want to do this. But he didn't want to take the chance of Potter showing up on top of him in the middle of the night. That was a scary thought.  
  
"Um, Harry?"  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"I was just here to apologize..."  
  
"Well, you should be."  
  
"Um, I was, um, wrong?"  
  
"Yeah, you were."  
  
"And, um, I'm sorry?"  
  
"You should be."  
  
"What do you want me to d now?!" He yelled. This obviously wasn't working.  
  
"Kiss me." Harry said.  
  
"Wait, what?"  
  
"Kiss me, you fool!"  
  
"Bloody hell!" Screamed Draco, walking backward. Harry was coming toward him, making kissing noises.  
  
"AHHHH!"   
  
"So you really don't love me?" Harry said, stopping. "So this was all a lie?"  
  
"No, um, no..."  
  
"Then why won't you kiss me?"  
  
"Because, I, um, I have a cold!"  
  
"You sound fine to me."  
  
"Well, you see, it's one of those um, unnoticeable ones. Yeah, it's new." He said, still backing up.  
  
"I don't care if I get it! Just kiss me! I won't believe that you are truly sincere until you do."  
  
"Well that's not going to happen!"  
  
"Fine then, I will have to tell everybody about your minuscule, how shall I put this?... 'Boy Toy'." He smiled, putting his index and thumb very close together.  
  
"Now wait just a bloody minute, Potter!" That was NOT true. Draco L. Malfoy was not going to sit there and let some lame scar-face tell him that he had small family jewels!  
  
"So, if it's not true, then kiss me!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Fine then!" Harry opened the door, and yelled, "Hey, everybody! Draco just wanted to let you all know that..." Draco only had one choice. He grabbed Harry By the face, and swung him around. He kissed him, open mouthed and all. Harry pulled away. He looked petrified.  
  
"There, you happy?" Draco said.  
  
"What in bloody hell was your tongue doing in my mouth, Malfoy?" Harry said with a disgusted look on his face.  
  
"But, you, I..." Draco began.  
  
"Just stay away from me!" Harry said, and ran out the open door.  
  
"But..." Draco said, looking for an answer.   
  
"Looks like we got the regular Harry back." Said Ron. "And not at a good time, either." 


End file.
